Boots and memory (Broken Flowers)

Broken Flowers scene showing Don asking two long haired country guys in a truck for directions
Don asks for directions to Penny’s house

While I was writing the previous post, in particular the part about the Misfits house in Rincon Valley, I found I really wanted to reference a scene from the Jim Jarmusch’s 2005 movie Broken Flowers. It would be the scene with “Penny.” There’s always a lot of empty space and things left unspoken or somehow hanging in the air in Jim Jarmusch movies, but this scene is particularly fraught in that way. There’s the implication of something very traumatic that happened to this woman Penny, that she associates with the character of Don Johnston, and it’s linked to the idea of having a son. (Penny is played by Tilda Swinson and Don by Bill Murray.)

Penny yells “Fuck you, Don!” and pushes him, and then he’s given a black eye by the bikers who she lives with, left unconscious in the back of his rental car out in a cornfield.

We used to have this movie on DVD, so I’ve seen it several times. After Chris got sick, I figured out how to get low cost internet, enabling us to use our Roku television to get streaming channels (Chris absolutely loved watching movies and it’s one of my regrets we didn’t figure this out months or even years earlier) and after he died I gave away the DVD player and his collection of DVDs.

One thing I thought I remembered from this scene in Broken Flowers were the boots that Penny was wearing. This is something I remember being focused on in 2014, and specifically, that she was wearing rubber galoshes type boots with eyes painted on them. I wanted to to include an image of those boots on the previous blog entry. Back in 2014 I remember finding images showing these galoshes online – but this time I couldn’t find any of those images. I was determined enough to get a photo of these boots that I rented the movie from Amazon streaming, and watched the scene, with my camera ready. And I got a surprise – you almost don’t see her boots at all in the scene. When I watched this movie tonight, the only time the boots are even visible is maybe for a second as Penny is pushing Don, and while you can see something painted on them, maybe a face? you don’t see the clear eye shape that I remember seeing before. What happened? Did I remember this scene wrong, or was is this a different edit of the film? And if it’s a different edit of the film as I suspect it is, isn’t it interesting that there are no stills from the older edit findable online via Google. I mean, they may still be online somewhere, but Google is excluding them, and yes, Google does this kind of thing all the time.

Was the film re-edited? If so, why? Was it because of the boots? I think it might be. What about those boots is so significant?

If I’m correct about the film having been re-edited, there’s also something ironic in the scene, as the dialogue just before the quick flash of the boots goes like this:

Don: You left me Penny, remember?

Penny: Very clearly.

Memory is really important with this, and I think this is widely known. With these biomedical implants, memories can be manipulated, even, it appears, bizarre as it sounds – very early memories stored offsite and returned later.

September 19 2022 update I just realized the boots with the eyes are in a later scene. I’ll either re-edit this post in the next day or two or write a new one or both.

Whitey Bulger (part 1) Boots

This morning I woke about 3am with the sense of having to write more about Rozz Rezabek, and realizing as I did so that Rozz is a link between a lot of other entities, including hospital systems, and music scenes in Portland, Seattle, San Francisco, and Los Angeles. After publishing that entry I fell asleep and started to have nebulous but consistent dreams about bikers, specifically Gypsy Jokers, and Irish-American gangster Whitey Bulger. As I woke up, the name Whitey Bulger came to me again and again, and this idea that both Gypsy Jokers and Whitey Bulger are linked to “FBI files.” I think that what this means is they’re linked both to the financing and the scripting of these reports.

So when I woke up, I looked up Whitey Bulger on Wikipedia, and then I watched the 2014 film Whitey: United States of America v. James J. Bulger (Bulger was murdered in Hazelton prison in West Virginia in 2018 – Hazelton is also a Humboldt County linked name found in Chris’ maternal family tree – matches like these are part of the prevailing pattern). I don’t really like writing about stuff without really studying it and understanding it first but time is of the essence so I’ll have to put down what I figured out and accept that corroborating evidence will come over time, or alternatively, conflicting evidence will come and I will modify my story. But like I’ve said, most of what’s going on is not secret known to a select few people, but widely known among a number of people at least within certain professions, and covered up, but alluded to between the lines.

I pretty quickly saw that Whitey Bulger – who seems to have been called Jim by people who knew him, is a missing link in this story. Apparently one of his nicknames was Boots. He led the Winter Hill Gang and was associated with Southie, or South Boston. These facts alone open up all kinds of connections, for example to the Ray Donovan series where a Southie family works as “fixers” in Los Angeles, and to Mark Lanegan’s “Stitch It Up” video, which itself links out in a number of directions. What I’m starting to see is a web that extends, apparently from Boston? – through Minneapolis, San Francisco, Los Angeles and Seattle.

As I began to research Whitey “Boots” Bulger, I remembered that in late 1987 for an English assignment I’d written a profile/biography of Mike Payne, and that he had told me a story of how after his mother had split with his bio-dad (Archer) in the 1960s, they had moved from Irving (Dallas) to Kansas City (There’s another potential connection to Tom Harrison who according to whitepages.com is linked both to Missouri and Irving) to Foster City to Sausalito (divorced in June 1968) to Sonoma County (remarried August 1969) first to Rincon Valley (Santa Rosa) and then to Kenwood (also Santa Rosa). Sausalito is in Marin County, a fairly upscale part of the Bay Area, North of San Francisco, where Santa Rosa is Sonoma County, which is a bit more backwoods (even more so back then) and is the location of the Bohemian Grove. Mike’s stories to me over the years included locations around the Bohemian Grove, though he never mentioned that place specifically. I mention it here because I know it’s in the background of this saga. And basically, what happens when you start entering into the California side of this story, is all kinds of occult stuff starts to appear. It’s hard to put together how California hippie occult activities are linked to the US federal government (even global leadership) and to Irish gangs in Southie, but I’m pretty sure the connecting fiber is CIA Project MK ULTRA which is in and of itself difficult to write about because there continues to be so much cover up around it, and repeated falsehoods and misdirecting from reliable seeming sources, promulgated through mainstream media. But if you veer off of mainstream media, into the internet backwoods, you just get into a different type of disinformation. So it’s something I have to put together, again, with patterns and evidence-based research, and maybe in that sense I’m in a unique position because I seem to have been immersed in this without ever having joined any clubs or taken any oaths around it.

Back to Sonoma County circa 1969 – Mike told me that in – I think this was Rincon Valley – they lived across the street from a biker gang house, specifically a Misfits house. He said that they were rivals of Hell’s Angels. He told me that they loaned his mother their biker boots for Halloween “so she could dress up” and that his mom would let the Misfits watch Mike and his two brothers. “We’d sit on their lawn (never mowed) drinking 7-up while they messed with their motorcycles.” One of the bikers, called Mr Buddy crashed his motorcycle. That was Mike’s Misfits story, as told to me in late 1987.

Misfits jackets seem to have a similar design to Gypsy Jokers.

In 2006 I was – I guess you would call it honey trapped, but in the sense of a “best friend” rather than lover – by a woman in Portland who at the time was working as a receptionist for an attorney who she once mentioned represented a lot of Gypsy Jokers in court cases. At one point I was reading an autobiography of a famous San Francisco attorney named Melvin Belli and she mentioned to me that one of the attorneys she worked for had known Belli and would be interested in talking to me about him some day (that never happened). This suggests to me that the Portland law office where she was working may have had some links to the SF Bay Area.

So “boots” is something that links.

By the way, being as we’re on this topic, Melvin Belli’s autobiography, My Life on Trial, published in 1976 has something in common* with Courtney Love’s mother, Linda Carroll’s autobiography Her Mother’s Daughter published 2006, and that is in each of these novels there is a story related about dream premonitions of someone’s death, either shortly before that person dies (Belli), or almost at the moment of death (Carroll). In one case the death is in a car crash (Carroll) and in the other it is something medical I think, a heart attack or stroke (Belli). This is important. It’s not magic, it’s not exactly psychic ability. It’s frequency-based telepathy and those deaths are murders.


*sorry, but I cannot cite the exact pages in the books where these occur because I don’t have the books in my possession. I will say that I read these books before I knew about this technology, but after I’d already (unfortunately) had similar kinds of premonitions.

Rozz Rezabek / FBI files

The powers behind this crime have been amazing in their capacity to weaponize friends and family – the people you trust the most. In some cases, childhood friends were secretly and perhaps slowly turned against us, though likely they grew up in families who were strategically positioned for this purpose. I’ve been able to see traces of this looking at census data on ancestry.com. Just as, when I was driving to California in January 2014 I was surrounded by a swarm of infrared-equipped weaponized cars and trucks, it seems that my family, Chris’ family, and my daughter’s paternal family were always surrounded by weaponized neighbors; families with a mission.

I recently have been writing quite a bit about Courtney Love, a person who came into Chris Newman’s life around 1980 in the capacity, he thought, as a teenage friend and fan, but who was actually, literally, on a mission of destruction. In 1981 or 82 Courtney started a relationship with a man named Rozz Rezabek, four years her senior.

Over the past three days or so, I’ve had this experience of dreaming about one person every night, with this idea that there is more to say about them, regarding malfeasance. First it was Courtney – and I should go back and examine what I dreamt about, because I see increasingly that there’s an intertwining with Rozz, California – hospitals? bikers? – and then the next night it was Mark Lanegan (another person to revisit), and last night it was Rozz.

I remember dreaming about Rozz, forgetting the dreams, just wanting to sleep, and then I had this dream where I saw a photo of Rozz in large resolution, 1500×1500 pixels, linking it to my discovery of Courtney’s photo on January 6 at Satyricon, and all the questions I starting asking about what was going on at Satyricon in January 1989 and increasing signs of a larger strategy at work aimed at both Chris Newman and Kurt Cobain.

Rozz was born in a small coastal town, Bandon, Oregon. I know that about him, and then everything about his past is a blank to me until the late 1970s when in November 1977 he joined a San Francisco punk band called Negative Trend. According to Wikipedia, Rozz was only in Negative Trend for four months (!) Granted, it seems to have been an action-packed four months, but maybe what is more significant is the positioning of Negative Trend with regards to the punk rock world. Somewhere, several blog posts back, I hypothesized that the entire punk rock movement was basically a CIA op, and that I also suspected the 1960s flower power movement was also basically CIA, especially the parts having to do with dropping out, turning on, acid tests, doing-crazy-stuff-to-your-kids, Timothy Leary, Grateful Dead, etc. I have also mentioned that in this geography of malfeasance, there are certain bands that stand out, and also, that zines, or zine-like publications also seem to come into the fore. I would right now hypothesize that any time you see a zine pop up, especially between the 1960s and 1990s, you might suspect malfeasance links. I say this entirely based on patterns – I can’t yet explain why. Or maybe it’s not only zines but access to DIY media in general – film, video, audio, photography, and print.

I’m thinking of this now because I see that one of the first members of the band that became Negative Trend was V.Vale of Search and Destroy magazine who seems to be a linking person between the 1960s flower power movement and the punk movement of the 1970s and 80s. I am vaguely familiar with Search and Destroy (a fair amount of Rozz’s punk rock fame is from photos published in that magazine) – but I didn’t know that it had been started out of City Lights Bookstore, linked to Allen Ginsberg and Lawrence Ferlinghetti.

Vale was replaced by Will Shatter, and in 1979 Shatter and another member of Negative Trend formed the band Flipper. Flipper has long been on my radar as seeming to have weird links to people around me I’ve never quite been able to figure out.

Anyway, Rozz quit Negative Trend in March 1978 and then there’s a blank spot in his history again before he pops up in Portland, almost exactly the same time as Chris, and forms a band called Theatre of Sheep. At some point in his life, maybe later in the 1990s I believe that Rozz had dual residences, one in San Francisco and one in LA, bringing up the question, how did he afford it? As far as I can tell, he’s spent his life working odd jobs. But he seems to have links to medicine.

I have the strong sense right now that Rozz was linked to an early 1980s San Fransisco punk band called The Cosmetics, which shared a bass player with Napalm Beach, Dave Minick. I have the sense of this, but no direct evidence. But it makes sense, because having been around Rozz a bit, I am aware that the group of San Francisco punks who were in bands performing and making records between 1977 and 1983, say – is a very close group. They all seem to know each other. Minick for his part is not just a link to San Francisco but to Los Angeles as well as he seemed to have girlfriends and eventually a wife who were from Los Angeles, probably Hollywood specifically.

The cosmetic industry keeps popping up as a potential finance connection going back, probably, to the Chuck Berry song, Maybellene. (Cars indicate finance as well – in the Chuck Berry song, Maybellene is driving a fast car.) When Napalm Beach was featured in the June 1989 issue of Seattle’s Backlash, the caption underneath the band read “Yay, Fabergé!”

My own history with Rozz began in late 2007 or early 2008 when I was working on a recording project with Marty Vincelli. In retrospect, what I see are a series of set ups. Every time I think to myself – “Ok, that was a set up” – and I start pulling on the thread, I realize that one set up led to another set up to another, etc. And I can only imagine this was also true in Chris’ life, and in Kurt Cobain’s life, and I very much fear in my daughter’s life as well. Let me pull on this string for a minute.

I was introduced to Rozz by Marty Vincelli. Marty was I think raised in Oregon but his dad was a northern California Biker, not a Hell’s Angel but Hells’ Angel adjacent (Gypsy Joker maybe) – and a drug dealer. Speed, maybe. (I have a sense of FBI connections, in the sense of financing and concocting false reports about me.)

I was introduced to Marty Vincelli by Tom Harrison who was from Springfield, Missouri, but who had lived in the Minneapolis area. Research I’ve done since we broke off contact in 2005 indicates that Harrison has links to a lot of other places he never bothered to mention to me in the 3 years that we were friends, including Hollywood, California and Irving, Texas. Harrison’s history (and even, possibly, his last name) indicate potential links to Courtney Love and Michael Payne.

And how did I meet Tom? I met him on an internet mailing list aimed at Portland musicians. This was probably in early 2003, before the social media era, when people who wanted to interact one-to-one online did it either through chat, bulletin boards, or email listservs. This was a list serv called PPIUM which stood for Portland Punk and Indie Underground Music, and it was an offshoot of an older listserv called OPIUM – for Olympia Punk and Underground Music. Both of these listservs were run by Matthew “Slim” Moon who had founded, and was at the time still running, the independant label Kill Rock Stars. Moon was also in bands like Earth and Nisqually Delta Podunk Nightmare, and thus was in the Nirvana orbit going back to the Skid Row era (1987). Later, he was, for a period of time, a boyfriend of Mary Lou Lord. This means that Moon has links to both Kurt Cobain and Elliott Smith.

At the time PPIUM appeared on the scene a number of Olympia based musicians were moving to or near Portland, almost like a mass exodus or immigration. I found this mailing list because I was already on another mailing list, maybe called pdx-pop or something – and Moon posted a notice to pdx-pop saying he was starting a new mailing list for discussing music, but he didn’t want it to be for promoting shows. (Something like that. Olympia artists are a bit – controlling – sometimes with interesting results.) More stuff happened to me or around me because of PPIUM but I’ll leave that for now.

So what I discern from all of this is I somehow was introduced to Rozz Rezabek by a series of what seems like chance encounters that ultimately can be traced back to someone linked to the Olympia/Portland music scene, Slim Moon – but that within all of this, looms also the shadow of Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love.

At the time I knew Rozz he was often blogging about his early days, including his crazy-making relationship with Courtney, on his MySpace blog. He’d often talked about writing a book but as far as I know when MySpace crumbled, Rozz’s writings went with it. Rozz had a lot of interesting stories – being at Winterland to open for the Sex Pistols and then never getting a chance to do so, and the chaos of that show; meeting Sid Vicious; meeting Billy Idol; meeting Joan Jett; being at a party with Andrew Wood and becoming so jealous of his rising star Rozz decided to walk home from Seattle to Portland; having a 15 year old fan/groupie (not necessarily sexual) named Stefanie Sargent (would later become guitar player for 7 Year Bitch). His stories about Courtney Love were particularly colorful.

I don’t know if or how much of Rozz’s stories about Courtney were true, but from the collection of stories about her from him and other people – but especially from him – you start to realize that she is incredibly crafty, and to me, I can see she’s been trained, as others around us were trained – in mind control tactics. But Courtney is in a class of her own. She seems to be working from a long-term strategy and she also seems to have access to a tremendous amount of finance and connections – almost like she’s amassed a clone army. By “clone army” I mean, legions of people, bands, etc, working from a common script. I’m not saying she’s at the top of this hierarchy, but I think she’s fairly high up, and that her links to the CIA go back at least to her parents generation. In fact, I’d say it’s clear that her parents – both of them – are linked to CIA mind control. This could be its own essay.

So I met Rozz in 2008, via Marty. At this time, Rozz would have parties, inviting various people – other musicians, scenesters from the 80s and 90s, and some younger women (not sure where they came from). Some of these folks were linked to San Franciso as well as Portland. Some of their histories seemed both interesting and somehow random – one woman, for example, had been the “whip girl” for live performances of Velvet Underground’s Venus In Furs – I guess she walked around stage in shiny boots, cracking a whip?

Chris Newman was at one of these gatherings. I think he was brought by Anton Long. This was one of the early times we “met” – I think I’d met him before this, but we didn’t really know each other. He was married to Denise but she lived in Pasadena.

In talking with Chris later, I learned that even though they’d both been in bands in Portland in the early 1980s, he didn’t really know Rozz. Chris was a serious musician in a way that Rozz was not (this is the truth). Rozz is not at home writing playing and writing songs every day as Chris was. Rozz was into a lot of artistic and creative endeavors, but not interested in artistic success in the way that Chris was. But Rozz was entertaining to watch, and he was able to draw a trendy crowd, and that probably made Chris a bit jealous. Chris could also draw a crowd, but by the time I knew Chris, he was really being pushed down. For example, in 2010, Napalm Beach had to open for the Obituaries. Napalm Beach’s history was far more extensive than the Obituaries who had played a few years, disbanded by 1990, then got back together in 2007. Napalm Beach’s performances were still incredibly powerful. This kind of thing was done to Chris over and over and over, going back to 1990. Honestly, his tenacity in the face of what was thrown at him in terms of set ups and humiliations, was astounding.

Anyway, I liked Rozz and Chris grew to like him as well. But it sounds like Rozz was a connection for us to meet people who would set us up or create damaging reports for the FBI. And then there was a drug/medical thing.

When you get to a certain group of people, there are some really weird connections to hospitals. As far as I can tell, all the major hospital networks on the west coast are deeply involved with FBI/CIA mind control. By this I mean, “punishing” people by literally making them sick (or killing them with cancer, heart attacks, strokes, etc), and rewarding people with drugs and/or not making them sick for a little while. It is a horror show. But there are people around us who seem – I guess the only word is complicit – and relatively unbothered. But it’s weird, because some of these people also either have, or pretend to have serious medical conditions. I’m increasingly suspecting that with some people who are closely connected to this system, they literally go to the hospital for conditions they don’t actually have. In other words, their medical histories are strategically falsified.

Because medical histories are supposed to be private, it’s really hard to prove something like this, but I’ve seen signs of this over and over, with people linked to mind control. I don’t mean that their medical histories are falsified as mine are, to be defamatory – but that they are active participants in this particular form of falsifying – and the agenda is manipulation. Again, this is worth an entire essay. There are just so many tactics and strategies around this mind control system, and a lot of it is cover up, deception, misdirection, and control of focus.

Around 2011 I started to suffer severe increases in back pain. At the same time, I was cut off my opioid-based pain plan at Multnomah County Health Clinic after I delayed a urine test. Even though I was still in severe pain, and even though opioids were the only thing that worked, they refused to relent. Now, this severe pain was actually torture, and it was entirely created via biomedical implants – but I didn’t know that at the time – and even though I’ve known it since 2017, so far there’s nothing I’ve been able to do about it. I still need opioid based pain medications.

Rozz at this time was going to a doctor at OHSU Richmond Family Clinic and getting large prescriptions of oxycodone for chronic hip or knee pain, supposedly from a performance-linked injury. I’m not saying that he does or doesn’t have severe chronic pain – he might indeed have it – but he did not take opioids the way I take them. He took them, at least sometimes, to get high. I will say as a chronic pain patient that I don’t know why any chronic pain patient would do this, because it creates tolerance, rendering the medications less effective.

Based on Rozz’s recommendation, I switched to the same clinic he was using, Richmond Family Clinic. But they refused to put me on an opioid based pain plan, suggesting that I instead try medical marijuana, which I did. But in reality, I still needed opioid medications. Rozz had a lot of these, and fairly frequently I’d find myself in severe pain, and he would give me enough medication to get me through.

Now this is a big no-no for doctors. But here’s the thing – they literally forced me into this position. It turns out that 2011 was an absolutely horrific year for me, pain wise – the exact year all the doctors refused to medicate me. And do not forget – this pain is deliberately being caused. The amount of time in my life that has been consumed by suffering in severe pain is staggering. I’ve had Tylenol overdose scares, and other life threatening situations occur because of this severe pain. And it’s entirely medically concocted. I can show evidence of this now.

So Rozz really helped me – but the situation was entirely a set up.

In the background, apparently have been these “FBI files” – maybe the set up was in part to concoct more files on me, though, like I say, the FBI says they have no files on me. But that really doesn’t make sense, when you look at the big picture. They’re hiding something, clearly.

I will say that even if they had a file saying I – I dunno – let’s say they have a file saying I did 9/11. If so, I still deserve a fair trial like everyone else, to determine whether in fact, I did or did not fly a plane into the WTC and Pentagon.

Another thing about Rozz you might not realize if your only knowledge of him is from what’s published online – is his links to Courtney Love didn’t end in the 1980s. His stories about her extended into the 1990s and he also told me that his interview in the Nick Broomfield movie Kurt and Courtney was an act concocted by him and Courtney together. In that interview, he acts like Courtney is this awful woman he can’t stand. He also, as I recall, pulls out her old medicine bottles, maybe for Valium.

That, and similar things I’ve witnessed, suggests to me that a lot of the vitriol from people around Courtney is concocted. But also, I think a lot of the positive portrayals of her are concocted as well. The aim is to confuse.

What the dream from last night suggested to me is Rozz was connected to the set up of Courtney Love with Kurt Cobain – and thus to the demise of Kurt Cobain.

The size of the image in the dream – 1500×1500 – also links Rozz to a Federal Torts Claim Act against the FBI I filed yesterday with the Department of Justice – and the idea that Rozz has something to do with negative reports about me filed with the FBI (Op Anne Boleyn), which presumably the FBI has been using as an excuse to physically harm me.

At the risk of stating the obvious

Why would the FBI listen to anything Courtney Love has to say? Are they not familiar with her reputation?

What about her record?

I don’t even have a record, except for the false one that she and her crew created on my behalf.

My patience is really thin. I think that if the FBI has no reason to be fearful for their own existence for what they’ve been doing to people, and at who’s behest, and totally outside of the law, there’s something seriously wrong.

Courtney Love stories (the parts I’ve been leaving out)

So now I know Courtney did Kurt Cobain dirty (though not in the way that’s been presented by other sources) and she did Chris Newman dirty, she probably did Naomi Levich dirty, and she’s been doing me dirty too. So I’m not worried anymore about hurting her feelings by dragging out everything else. I’m also not quite as concerned about “protecting” Rozz Rezabek as I’ve been in the past. It’s not that I want anything bad to happen to him, because I don’t. I genuinely like Rozz. But I don’t think that my keeping the diary story quiet is going to be that helpful to him. His life is in danger because of this.

Courtney Love tended to distribute Kurt Cobain’s belongings to other people. Rozz apparently ended up with a lot of them. He said that an ex-girlfriend absconded with a bunch of items, but he still had some when I knew him (2008-2014). Chris Newman often told the story about when Courtney lived in the Napalm Beach band house (first half of 1981), and had left a journal on her bed, maybe even open, and he peeked into it, and read an entry about how she had a crush on him, he was a genius guitar player, but she didn’t know what her friends would say, because he was “fat.” She was just 16 and he was 27. This of course did double duty of making him feel both admired and belittled. His “fatness” as being a deal breaker came up again and again – the same month that Chris and I became a couple – March 2009 – Chris had been out at a bar and run into Courtney Taylor Taylor of the Dandy Warhols who told Chris that the reason he never got anywhere musically is because he “got fat.”

Anyway, make no mistake, Chris was supposed to find that journal. Soon they were making out and Courtney told him she was a virgin and she wanted him to be “her first.” That didn’t happen. However, not long after that, the band drove to Seattle to play a show at the University of Washington Hub, where they made a decent amount of money. On the way back, Chris said, Courtney begged Chris to ride in back with her. He wouldn’t. The other guitar player they had at the time, Mark Nelson, rode in the back with her, and later bragged to Chris that he had “devirginized” Courtney. Chris didn’t know whether or not that was a lie or the truth.

Courtney Love also had a tendency to leave journals behind. I suspect there was something strategic in this. One day, probably around 2010 or 2011, Rozz Rezabek called me up and said something along the lines of “I have a couple of journals of Courtney’s and in them she says she’s going to fuck Chris Newman, the guitar god. Want to see?” So I thought, yeah, I want to see. I went to his house and he handed me two journals, one from the latter half of 1981 as I recall, and one from 1982. This would have been after she was no longer living in the Napalm Beach house. And I looked through each journal and the writing was straight and neat and perfectly spelled and there was nothing about Chris at all in either journal. Rozz didn’t really have a comment about that. What I remember were things about other people in music (not so much musicians as people around the scene), a page with the word “Rozz” written over and over, and a to-do list that included getting Poison Idea into the Berkeley-based punk zine, Maximum Rock n’ Roll. Which apparently she did shortly afterward. I couldn’t find Chris’ name anywhere. Later I asked to see the diaries again and Rozz got real cagey about it, so I never saw them again. But I think that the hidden point was the double meaning of the word “fuck.” It wasn’t romantic.

And by the way, I think that’s how Kurt Cobain also intended to use the word “fuck,” at least in part, when he announced on live TV whenever it was that Courtney was the “best fuck in the world.” And/or it had to do with sex as a metaphor for gaining juice in the music business. Whatever Courtney Love had pulled off in the Napalm Beach band house, and probably in other activities, had gained her access to something powerful. Also, I now believe that the entire reason I was introduced to Rozz was to give her even more power. A lot of this is in the 2010 song “Pacific Coast Highway” – The first line is “I knew a boy who came from the sea” – Rozz grew up in Bandon, Oregon where the sign at the edge of town reads “Bandon by the sea.” With regards to that song, who exactly is the boy who “left me so damaged”? Is she insinuating that it was Chris? Or Mark Nelson? It’s pretty clever to drop hints of this type and allow people to draw their own conclusions.

Chris Newman’s history with Courtney was exaggerated by Flying Heart Records’ Jan Celt. Courtney wrote Chris letters from Europe but it’s not clear that they were literally “love letters” as Celt told the local music press. The were part of Chris’ belongings that were thrown out in 1996 by his landlord and brother in law. Chris said she wrote to him that he should go to Europe. Links between Chris and Courtney were further exaggerated by Eric Danielson in his essay and self-published book/s about Chris, insinuating the two of them had some ongoing romance, or that she had an ongoing crush on him that she only “dropped” when she met Kurt Cobain. As I’ve said before, Danielson has overtly refused to correct “errors” in his writing. That, I allege, is sign of a larger agenda, either to make Chris look self-aggrandizing (which he wasn’t) or to feed the rumor that they had been sexually involved, or to give Courtney even more power by making their relationship seem to have been more, and different, than what it was. I can’t think of a good reason to lie about this.

Courtney herself fed this idea in ways that made Chris feel special. For example, when she saw him with his girlfriend Nancy Loeffler in the late 1980s she said loudly “I would have married you Chris Newman!” and when he saw her play at La Luna in 1994 right after she’d appeared on the cover of Rolling Stone for Live Through This, she greeted him from the stage. That was a nice gesture, but it was always bait and switch after that, and who knows what she was saying or doing behind the scenes. In all honesty, by 1994, he should have had a lot more going for him than having Courtney Love greet him from stage. He had the talent, the tenacity and the catalog. He had done the work.

Marti Wyman, Courtney Love, Ursula Wehr, Robin Barbur (Bradbury)
Marti Wyman, Courtney Love, Ursula Wehr, Robin Barbur (Bradbury) at a Napalm Beach show – Satyricon, 1987

Nirvana opens for Mudhoney at Satyricon, January 6, 1989

This show keeps coming back to me, with more and more unusual details. I notice it’s the date (32 years earlier) of the insurrection at the US capitol. It is the first show that Nirvana played outside of Washington state, although the following month they would play San Francisco and then San José.

The show took place on a Friday night. There are posters circulating, with Nirvana’s name misspelled. However, it was only this year that I saw that there was a third band listed for that night, Inner Anger. If you look at the Satyricon calendar, Inner Anger is mentioned, but Nirvana is not.

True to the pattern I described, Napalm Beach plays the following Friday night. The Friday after that is the Dharma Bums. In some versions of the “when Kurt met Courtney” story, it takes place at a Dharma Bums show at Satyricon (not sure what year). In the Charles Cross version of the story it happens in January 1990 at a Nirvana show at Satyricon, and in the Everett True version, it’s the following year, 1991, in Los Angeles. But I’m starting to think the entire “controversy” over this is a shaggy dog story intended to distract from the real issue: that Courtney Love was a honey trap, and that her mission always included the demise of Kurt Cobain, Chris Newman and anyone else who might stand in the way (Erika Meyer, for example – thus, Op Anne Boleyn) of the continuation of a crime which has been illegally and inappropriately sustaining a number of people and financial entities.

Back to January 1989. David Ackerman and I were pals for a while. I ultimately stopped interacting with people because they couldn’t or wouldn’t be honest with me. When Ackerman and I were pals, I made him a photo website with the intent of helping him license his photos and/or sell them as fine art prints. To this end, I posted some photos from this show, but they were relatively small, with the idea that if they were swiped, as tends to happen online, they’d be to small to do much with. I tried to make sure he’d get credit so that people could trace the images back to him. However, it looks like since that time, someone under the user name “braunnoser” posted a much higher resolution version of the photo to reddit. David had these images on negatives which, when we were working together, he had scanned and put on CD. He gave me the CD so I could use it for his website, and he may have also kept a copy of the CD. There’s only two ways, that I know of, that this high resolution image could have gotten onto reddit: either David gave “braunnoser” a copy of the CD or the image from the CD (and I could totally see him doing this. He was a lot less protective of his work than I was) or, it was swiped from the CD I had stored, because in fact my stuff gets swiped all the time, and the CD of images from that show has “mysteriously” gone missing and been replaced in different areas probably more than once. Also, one of the admins of the Pacific Northwest Music Archives site from which I was booted is named Karl Braun.

To me, it looks like the photo was taken between sets, where one band was breaking down and another setting up. The set list belongs to Inner Anger who would release an album that year called My Head Hurts.

detail image showing set list behind Courtney posing near stage

Silent
Life Out
Don’t Leave
Cob Webs
The Tide
Divorce
Tears
Chance
Murders
Reality
Days’d

There’s more – there are newer versions of the posters associated with this show that are much clearer than what I’ve seen in years past. Here are two I found today:

Clearly, the version of the poster which includes Inner Anger is closer to the original. A question is, why Inner Anger appears one version and not the other – and is there a reason why the version with Inner Anger was not posted online anywhere until, as far as I can tell, this year. Also, now that I can see the poster with more detail, a few things stand out – there are not one, but two women on this poster, one black, one white, in this kind of occult twins formation. Also, they appear to have what looks like nipples over their butts. There was a band in Portland called Sweaty Nipples that seemed to play a lot of these same clubs. You can see them on this same January 1989 calendar, twice – once – on January 12 – opening for Burdyshaw’s Cat Butt. This looks to me like a link to the Mudhoney poster (nipples on a butt). January 12 is also the date, the following year, that Courtney would claim to first meet Kurt Cobain. Weird, right?

Also, and this I find particularly interesting – the style of the female figure on this poster is very close to art that Courtney Love would make. I think it’s even possible that it is her artwork. Even to this day she tends to draw these female figures with blonde bobbed hair, full lips, big eyes.

Courtney Love artwork

Finally, what is that stuff at the top of the flyer about THE WET SCENE? I googled the phrase and came up with a scene from he 1984 movie “Gremlins” on YouTube where water is spilled on a gremlin (Gizmo) and several more gremlins pop out, seemingly from its butt. This seems to contradict what happens, for example, to the witch in Wizard of Oz, when water is spilled on her. Rather than melting away, the Gremlins multiply. On this video someone commented “Gizmo knew from the start how this would end….” a phrase from the Hole song “Asking For It”

Do you see what I mean by “set ups”?

Other thoughts about the calendar – in addition to Kurtz Project (Trés Shannon of Voodoo Doughnut) – there’s what appears to be a band called Heart of Darkness playing on Tuesday the 17th. Drawing a parallel to my own life – Courtney had recently been in Minneapolis. It seems like she must have left Minnesota almost the same time as my honey trap boyfriend Mike Payne – he left in November 1988. I now wonder if maybe part of the reason he was there at all was to connect with Courtney Love in some way, because they both knew my friend Erika Schlaeger – in this situation, honey traps aren’t always romantic partners – they can be, and are, trusted friends too. That’s what Erika Schaeger was.

Around this period of time I’d been reading Heart of Darkness and Moby Dick for my college classes. The idea of Heart of Darkness links with Napalm Beach (Apocalypse Now being based on Heart of Darkness) and with what I was doing, as well as what this crew was up to. I feel like many of the bands on this particular calendar may have been linked in a web or net of sorts. I know that Courtney Love was plotting promotion strategies of various local bands going back to 1981 (because I saw a couple of her diaries) – and that the things she plotted out, she generally achieved. Satyricon owner George Touhouliotis seemed to be fairly close to her, so it makes me wonder if this entire January 1989 calendar involved her in some way.

Sept 19, 2022 update: I re-edited this entry today to correct mistakes around the band name Inner Anger. Also, found a set list for Nirvana:

6 January 1989 Nirvana set list

School
Love Buzz
Floyd the Barber
Mr Mustache
Paper Cuts
Mexican Seafood
Spank Thru
Aerozeppelin
Sifting
Hairspray Queen
Big Cheese

BLEW